People wait every week to read the new activity report posted on the Greenwood County Sheriff’s Office Facebook page.
Posts outline the last week’s criminal activity, along with some of the frivolous calls that come into the sheriff’s office on a daily basis with a humorous edge mixed into what would otherwise be a mundane log.
People often ask The Madison News, “Who writes this stuff? It’s hilarious!” Entries that describe illegal gatherings of escaped bovine conspiring to cause traffic jams, to the now infamous penis glitter bomb incident fill each week’s report with just enough humor to keep readers laughing, amidst the more serious entries.
The face behind the posts belongs to Greenwood County Sergeant Mike Cordell. When he joined the county in 2016, another deputy was in charge of posting to social media. When that duty was passed on, Cordell was left holding the short straw.
“I really didn’t want to do it, but after I started putting in the humor, the job ended up permanently mine,” he said.
Cordell often does the log on his days off in order to meet press deadlines for The Madison News.
Cordell said he doesn’t really think about how he’s going to say things in the log.
“The stuff that’s the most popular, I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal, but that’s the stuff people make the most comments on,” he said.
Sometimes logs are easy to write — with the stupid things people do — but other times the entries are pretty normal.
“I’m just as disappointed when there’s not a good call each week when I take the time to write the log and there’s not something outrageous that happened,” Cordell said.
He went on to explain that his intent isn’t trying to make light of situations, and sometimes when something doesn’t seem like a big deal, it is a big deal to that person.
“Sometimes you have to be light-hearted about stuff when we deal with such horrible things in our job,” he added.
One of the most notable entries into a recent log concerned a request to speak with a deputy at a local business after an employee received a penis glitter bomb in the mail and wished to file a report. This was followed by a long array of comments and likes on the Facebook page, prompting further explanation from the Sheriff’s Office.
“Upon activation, it expels large quantities of tiny, metallic phallus-shaped pieces of glitter which can then present great difficulty in fully cleaning from the area, thereby leading to recurring phallic discoveries in the future,” Cordell responded. “This can be especially upsetting to those who are offended by the shape of the male anatomical protuberance.”
This explanation received dozens of likes on the page.
Other posts reveal the less intelligent side of the criminal demographic, like the person who came to bail out a friend, but had an outstanding warrant themselves, leading to their arrest in the Sheriff’s Office lobby. Or the person who left their car in the parking lot at the jail, and was arrested when the K9 drug dog detected drugs in it.
Sgt. Cordell is quick to laugh at himself as well in his posts. A recent post told about a loose bull on the highway.
“Report of a large bull in the roadway on K99,” Cordell wrote. “Deputy responded and discovered he is not a cowboy. After getting out of the vehicle to put the bull away, the bull advised that was a bad idea and the deputy executed a tactical retreat to the safety of his vehicle. The bull was last seen co-habitating with local fauna in a tree row.”
An update several days later read, “Report of the unfriendly bull out on the roadway again. We are considering rerouting the road around the bull as it will likely be the simplest solution.”
When a reader commented, “Did the deputy show him his badge? That bull just doesn’t have proper respect for our LEOs,” Cordell was quick to own up to being the deputy involved and replied, “I’ll be honest. I noped out of there pretty quick when the bull made it clear I had made a huge mistake leaving the confines of my comfy Durango!”
With a growing base of over 7,000 Facebook followers and dozens of shares and comments each week, the Sheriff’s Facebook page has admirers from all over that wait expectantly to see what the latest post includes. It’s been reported that a group of writers gather in Wichita each week and part of their agenda for their meetings is to review the Greenwood County Sheriff’s activity posts.
The log is not limited to local readers either. Due to the internet’s far-reaching technology, readers as far as the United Kingdom have reported their enjoyment in perusing the weekly logs as well.
Readers leave routine accolades for the humorous posts, including:
“I don’t know who writes this, but you do a great job. Entertaining every week! Love your attitude and sense of humor!”
“I look forward to reading this each week and am never disappointed in the humor among the tragedies.”
“No way you guys can make this stuff up!!! Hope the bull made it home!”
Cordell has 15 years of law enforcement experience under his belt, including working as a deputy in Wilson County and for the Andover and Mulvane Police Departments. He is the Greenwood County patrol supervisor, as well as the department sniper.
He was born in California and moved around a lot, with both of his parents in the military. Following in his parents’ footsteps, Cordell served in the Army infantry before becoming a law enforcement officer. In his spare time, he enjoys taking aerial videos with his drone and is a skydiving instructor.